PROSPER HOLDINGS INTERNATIONAL

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You are currently UNSAVED. Everything past this point is behind the $19.99 Salvation paywall: the money, the island, the ranch, the playbook, and the headlines.

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DEPTH: LAYER 2 OF 5
Private client area · Since 1974

Welcome to Layer 2.

you took the red pill. it was a communion wafer. it cost $19.99.
What's Pastor Prosper up to now → Go down the rabbit hole →
George Town · Nassau · Wickenburg · Hell, Michigan · Cay Prosper

The front of the website is an infomercial. The church is a gift shop. The gift shop is a holding company. Keep clicking. Every "go deeper" drops you one more layer down. There is no separation of church and state down here. There is barely a separation of church and Cayman.

Layer 2: Prosper Holdings International

CAYMAN ISLANDS · TAX EXEMPT · PROBABLY

Jacob's Ladder Megachurch is a church. The church is owned by a ministry. The ministry is owned by a nonprofit. The nonprofit is owned by Prosper Holdings International, which is a P.O. box in George Town with a fern in it.

PROSPER HOLDINGS INTERNATIONAL (Cayman) ├── Jacob's Ladder Megachurch ... The Cloud (Hell, MI) │ ├── BIBLERAPS RECORDS (the album you came for) │ ├── The Healing Line (Board Certified in Miracles) │ └── The Gift Shop (the actual church) ├── Prosper Aviation LLC (four jets, zero demons) ├── Cay Prosper Retreat Holdings (an island) ├── The Ranch at Wickenburg (a bootcamp) ├── Nun-of-Your-Business Academy (a PR department) └── Brad (a line item)

Annual report, in full: ██████████ "Trust us."

Pastor Dale hugging the jet
THE JET FUND

Pastor Dale cannot fly commercial because the demons are in coach. The Jet Fund has bought four jets. Each new jet needs a newer jet. This is called a ministry.

Layer 3: Cay Prosper and The Ranch

Aerial photo of Cay Prosper island
ADULTS ONLY · NDA AT THE DOCK

THE RETREAT AT CAY PROSPER. A private Bahamas island where top donors go for "spiritual renewal." Every adult guest signs an NDA at the dock. Phones are confiscated for your spiritual safety. The guest list is permanently redacted.

Guests include: ████████, ██████, a senator, ██████████, and Brad.

Pastor Dale is currently on day 94 of a 117-day sabbatical here. Last month he demanded a rival pastor resign for missing one Sunday with the flu.

The Ranch in Arizona
WEALTH TRANSFER BOOTCAMP

THE RANCH (Arizona). A five-day bootcamp for adult donors. Day one: you learn to transfer wealth. Day two through five: you transfer it. Graduates receive a belt buckle and a smaller bank account.

Electives include Tithing Under Pressure, Seed Faith for Beginners, and Advanced Not Asking Questions.

The Kommunications Team
NUN-OF-YOUR-BUSINESS ACADEMY

Where adult Kommunications staff train to say nothing, holily. The two-year program has one exam. The exam has one question. The answer is "no comment on the jet." Kaylynn passed. Kristyn passed. Kourtney is still taking it.

Layer 4: The Hallowed Heritage Foundation

PROJECT 3:16

The Hallowed Heritage Foundation is a think tank. It does not think. It tanks. It funds the whole movement and recently released Project 3:16, a 900-page playbook to turn the country into one big church, with Pastor Dale as the gift shop.

Highlights: Chapter 1, "Separation of Church and State Is Just Two Words Apart." Chapter 12, "The Tithe Is the New Tax." Chapter 40, "Every Courthouse a Chapel, Every Chapel a Drive-Thru." Page 900 is just the gift shop floor plan.

The Friends of Pastor Dale

Cosmo ThrustRocket and chatbot billionaireWants to colonize Heaven by Q3. Calls it "underutilized real estate." Named Dale his Chief Afterlife Officer. His chatbot, asked if God exists, said "Upgrade to Premium."
Premier Ivan ShirtlessSupreme Leader, the Bear RepublicRides horses topless. Gifted Pastor Dale a second jet "for no reason." The jet came with strings attached. Literally. Puppet strings.
Senator Chet GoldplateChairman, Committee on Thoughts and PrayersVoted to cut food aid, then led a prayer breakfast with a $900 omelet station. Pastor Dale blessed the omelets.
Sterling CloudsworthOnline-everything store magnateBought a newspaper so it would stop saying things. Offered Heaven same-day delivery. Heaven declined. He bought it anyway.
Chip DatahoardFounder, FaceFlockKnows your sins before you commit them and sells the list to Pastor Dale for targeted prayer ads. Building a bunker for the Rapture. Brought his own Rapture.
The Ladder LiftChurch-funded facelift programYour face proves your faith. Lifted staff sit closer to Dale. Unlifted staff sit in the overflow parking lot. See the Lifted wall.

Layer 5: The Real Product

EYES ONLY

You thought you bought an album. Then you thought you bought salvation. Then you thought you bought a peek behind the curtain.

The product was you. It was always you. Religion plus money plus power, fused into one grift and sold back to you at a markup. The album was the free sample.

Pastor Dale would like to thank you for your $19.99. He has already spent it. It is in the jet.

Pastor Dale's phone (do not check)The gift shopAcquire the entire lie: $1,000,000

What's Pastor Prosper Up To Now?

The only news source Pastor Dale has not sued. Yet. Updated whenever he does something. He is always doing something.